Cooked breakfast with my RX-209.
Nothing is ever over or undercooked.
And whatever is placed inside tastes delicious.
Even if it’s inedible.
Side effects include: horrible flatulence.

Drove to work in my RX-211 SUV.
It can climb mountains and cross rivers,
Or drive over other SUVs in heavy traffic.
It operates on nuclear rods that last for half a century.
Side effects include: impotence.

Came home to my condo.
The RX-242 has voice activated locks,
Switches lights on and off as I walk through each room
Even maintains a constant 72 degrees — whether I like it that cool or not.
Side effects include: extreme depression.

Turned on my new entertainment system.
The RX-250 does everything.
Records my favorite shows, downloads the latest video games,
Plays full screen films, even those I don’t own.
Side effects include: epileptic fits.

Heard the new RX-284 political candidate.
He’s expert in protocol and diplomacy and makes all the right decisions.
Not to mention he’s a clone.
So go ahead, assassinate him — there’s another in cryo-freeze.
Side effects include: fascism.

Jumped in the shower.
Soaped up with RX-288.
Brand new soap.
Cleans off everything including your epidermis.
Side effects include: cancer.

Took a new drug called RX-299
It prevents flatulence, impotence, depression, epileptic fits, fascism, and cancer.
Side effects include: dry mouth, hair loss, anxiety attacks, fatigue, elephantiasis, nausea, insomnia, acid reflux, and occasional death.
But I’m not concerned — the RX-300 series is being released next week.